Wednesday, August 15, 2007

This textbook thing is a tad ridiculous.

So far the count is 23 books purchased for the upcoming semester. And I still have a few more to buy. I'm thinking of tallying some page numbers or something and making myself a countdown for survival and the end of the semester. Or maybe just counting down from 23 is enough. It looks like the average is about 400 pages per book. So, yeah, counting down from 10,000 plus isn't quite as appealing.

GTA training has been an adventure. Basically it has been 9 hours of redundant warnings that most incoming freshman are drastically below average in writing ability and that grading will take patience beyond all patience, and lots of what we don't have - TIME. Due to a massive grant, the history department has a huge incoming class of like 20 students. We all were lectured, er, I mean welcomed by the faculty. Their advice was this... We're scholars, not students. Reading is now our life. Yes it is hard. Initiative will get us through.

The pep talk just managed to freak me out. I only have a few more days of freedom and sanity before it all starts. I'm ready, but I'm SO not. The piles of books are watching me now.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

A boy and his toys.

Everywhere I look, there is a dog toy. They have names too. We've got Pig, Froggie, Jack, Giraffe, Hedgie, Harley, along with bone, ball, and rope. Brinkley must have two dozen dog toys spread around the house. Either he wants none or he wants them all. Furniture seems to be his favorite toy replacement but there are the moments where he gathers toys together as if creating his own little toy harem. If I could read his mind he's probably laughing and yelling, "They're mine. They're ALL mine!!"

He probably thinks his name is "Brinkley, No!" because those are the two most often used words of my vocabulary these days. He had his first bath adventure the other day after a long day visiting his grandparents. I would have taken pictures but my arm was pinned down my a wet Brinkley trying to climb to safety. He actually did fairly well so there is some hope that maybe one day he'll leave said limb alone.

I've also decided that he may have some type of evergreen fetish. There are smallish evergreen bushes that line the path from our condo door to the lovely green grass where Brinkley does his business. About 3 or 4 times a day, Brinkley has the urge to launch himself into these bushes as fast as a his uncoordinated body will allow. He dives in head first, does a few bounds, and then darts across the sidewalk and dives into the next unsuspecting bush. He criss-crosses in the same fashion all the way back to the door. It also must be some unbarked of puppy rule that's it necessary to grab one last twig or rock to bring to the door on the off chance that I won't notice. I always notice- after all, I didn't pay $5.99 for a squeaking lobster so he could chew on a free twig.

Friday, August 10, 2007

The Forgotten War no more...

As the next semester looms overhead, I find myself once again contemplating what it is exactly that I'm looking to get out of this whole grad school thing. A friend of mine recently posted a blog about her looming return to FSU to finish her Master's in Theatre and so much of what she wrote rang true with my own experiences. Grad school is probably the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. It's beyond the "challenging" I thought it would be. It's an entirely different level of challenging.

There's the saying that people go to grad school to delay entry into the real world - to live safely in the bubble of academia. The thing is though, there is NO bubble. Life goes on - bills still need to be paid, work still continues, and family obligations still exist. It's hard to explain the pressures of grad school to people, especially my family. Heck, I never understood all the spazzy grad students until I became one. It's just not a matter of going to class and having homework. I'm consumed by this. The amount of reading really is as ridiculous as it sounds. Chances are if I'm not reading, I SHOULD be reading. Weekends aren't breaks, they are the saving grace for the never-ending task of catching-up on the week before. It's an emotional roller coaster knowing that you are expected to be at your intellectual best every single day. Expectations are high, professors are incredibly demanding, assignments are ridiculous for the time period alloted, and there is not a moment from the beginning of the semester to its end that doesn't make one feel like the most inadequate person in the room.

So why am I putting myself through this? Now that I've started, why would I not finish? Seriously, knowing how hard it was and that I pulled myself through it, will be an amazing feeling. Over the summer I've been really thinking a lot about what I want to do after graduation, even though it is still three semesters and another internship away. In some respect, whether in archives or the museum field, I'd like to do something related to the Korean War. The so-called Forgotten War is the least studied, least memorialized, and certainly the least talked about. I have a problem with that. Growing up, it was a badge of pride to say both of my Grandpas fought in the Korean War. What that entailed for them, I don't know. I never asked. Now that I know more about history and am more aware of how we've come to be the country that we are, that neglect really disturbs me. They deserve better. With hope, I'll have the chance to rectify that with my grandpa that's still alive. The Korean War encompasses so much and has what seems to me, endless possibilities of research. I moved on that thought earlier this summer and started googling...it worked.


I got an email this morning from the Research Director of the Korean War National Museum. I volunteered a while back to help with a project that he has been working on. Plans and databases have been made so now it's time for me to actually get to work. I am officially a Professional Research Associate with the Korean War National Museum. And that's why I keep doing it all. I'll keep reading until my eyes bleed and keep drinking enough coffee to appear awake and intelligent. I'll keep putting my nose to the grind stone, and I'll keep shrugging off anyone's misunderstandings of what it is I am voluntarily putting myself through. I'll keep doing it for me, and I'll try my best not to let that get in the way of the "real life" I'm supposedly avoiding.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Take this job...

and shove it! Is it the 16th yet? I absolutely despise my job right now. Long story short - I was given a power point presentation to assemble for our boss's going away party. I've known him for 6 years, everyone else has known for about 20 years. No one felt like working on the power point so as with everything no one wants to work, they all pawned it off on ME. So I busted my ass for days working on all these really cool PhotoShop graphics, making the boss into Superman and Andy Griffith and stuff to put in the slideshow etc.. It was great. Everyone thought I was doing a wonderful job and now everyone is suddenly interested and have completely screwed with the basis of the presentation. It was great but now it looks like a 7 year old put it together because NO person in this office knows anything about simple graphic design concepts...stuff like making the font match and having 3 or 4 simple colors. That's just the tip of the iceberg on why I hate this place right now. I'm done in a week though - down to 20 hours a week! And 10 of those will be all by myself on Sundays so hallelujah! I hate stupid people. Stupid should hurt.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

LSD - does a body good.

Picture me splashing through tall grass and mud while running up a hill. Screen goes black and the "running is my anti-drug" logo pops up. LSD definitely has nothing to do with narcotics but a long slow distance run! I pulled a 5.1 mile run this morning that was humid but great! Longest run yet - woohoo! I was at one point running through tall grass and mud this morning because the trail had been flooded out after our flash flooding the other night. I'm pretty sure that during my sloshing around is when I lost the half of a Power Bar that I had in my back pocket. I really could have used that after about 45 minutes or so. I'm really drained now. A nap may be in order later today!

Ok, now on to something that deserves to be blogged about! I did a google image search of trail running to see if I could find some muddy runner or something, and THIS is what I found as #2!


I'm seriously considering becoming a full time trail runner now. And on the off chance that you actually noticed the words down at the bottom of the ad, it says "Runners, yeah, we're different."

Thursday, August 2, 2007

The world is just one big chew toy.

Grabbing anything and everything, whether at Brinkley level or not, has certainly made the world into one gigantic chew toy. After only a few days it's no longer a simple "NO!" and move on. It's now a "NO!" followed by picking whatever it is up and putting it up and out of sight or behind closed doors. I've got to hand it to the little guy, he's relentless. If he eventually focuses on hunting and running like he focuses on those things that he can't have or chew on now, then he'll be a world class gun dog and marathoner!

Speaking of marathoning... ok, not so much - I've got a four mile run planned for tonight. I'm hoping the weather holds out. The storm clouds seem to be building already. I'm exhausted but I know I need to get out there and run. Too bad I can't take the energizer dog with me when I go. Instead he'll just be recharging for another go at Milo while I'm gone.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Hello, August!

I finished July with a 3.3 mile run last night. That brought my total for July to 38.4 miles! I did the lake route but in the reverse direction from usual which did help to mix it up a bit. I've been ditching the watch at home for most runs lately. I really have no reason to keep track of how fast I am. No miracles are going to happen. It's not like I'm suddenly going to break a 10 minute mile or anything. I'm just running to get better and feel healthier, stronger. I don't think I'll worry about watching the clock until I start training for something more serious than a 5k.

While I don't know if it's feasible, I'm going to shoot for 50 miles for August! May as well try, I've got nothing to lose but weight! He he.