The Forgotten War no more...

As the next semester looms overhead, I find myself once again contemplating what it is exactly that I'm looking to get out of this whole grad school thing. A friend of mine recently posted a blog about her looming return to FSU to finish her Master's in Theatre and so much of what she wrote rang true with my own experiences. Grad school is probably the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. It's beyond the "challenging" I thought it would be. It's an entirely different level of challenging.

There's the saying that people go to grad school to delay entry into the real world - to live safely in the bubble of academia. The thing is though, there is NO bubble. Life goes on - bills still need to be paid, work still continues, and family obligations still exist. It's hard to explain the pressures of grad school to people, especially my family. Heck, I never understood all the spazzy grad students until I became one. It's just not a matter of going to class and having homework. I'm consumed by this. The amount of reading really is as ridiculous as it sounds. Chances are if I'm not reading, I SHOULD be reading. Weekends aren't breaks, they are the saving grace for the never-ending task of catching-up on the week before. It's an emotional roller coaster knowing that you are expected to be at your intellectual best every single day. Expectations are high, professors are incredibly demanding, assignments are ridiculous for the time period alloted, and there is not a moment from the beginning of the semester to its end that doesn't make one feel like the most inadequate person in the room.

So why am I putting myself through this? Now that I've started, why would I not finish? Seriously, knowing how hard it was and that I pulled myself through it, will be an amazing feeling. Over the summer I've been really thinking a lot about what I want to do after graduation, even though it is still three semesters and another internship away. In some respect, whether in archives or the museum field, I'd like to do something related to the Korean War. The so-called Forgotten War is the least studied, least memorialized, and certainly the least talked about. I have a problem with that. Growing up, it was a badge of pride to say both of my Grandpas fought in the Korean War. What that entailed for them, I don't know. I never asked. Now that I know more about history and am more aware of how we've come to be the country that we are, that neglect really disturbs me. They deserve better. With hope, I'll have the chance to rectify that with my grandpa that's still alive. The Korean War encompasses so much and has what seems to me, endless possibilities of research. I moved on that thought earlier this summer and started googling...it worked.


I got an email this morning from the Research Director of the Korean War National Museum. I volunteered a while back to help with a project that he has been working on. Plans and databases have been made so now it's time for me to actually get to work. I am officially a Professional Research Associate with the Korean War National Museum. And that's why I keep doing it all. I'll keep reading until my eyes bleed and keep drinking enough coffee to appear awake and intelligent. I'll keep putting my nose to the grind stone, and I'll keep shrugging off anyone's misunderstandings of what it is I am voluntarily putting myself through. I'll keep doing it for me, and I'll try my best not to let that get in the way of the "real life" I'm supposedly avoiding.